hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I came so hard my ears popped.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
