If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
