I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
