a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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