I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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