We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
