What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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