i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
