Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
