Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Randomize
