i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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