so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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