i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
