It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
