Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
