You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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