I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
