am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
