so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
