Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
