remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
