Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
