420 ftw
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
