I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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