As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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