They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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