You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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