Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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