this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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