We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
