Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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