I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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