If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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