Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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