you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
