Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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