like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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