this just has baby written all over it
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
MIDGETS
????
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
