You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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