Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
