she was so not down for the gang bang
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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