why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
