Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize