life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
