One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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