how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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