First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
