Dual....:-)
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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