so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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