Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
