You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
