ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Is Oprah even human
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
