WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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