I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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