But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just want to make out with him forever
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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