Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
