I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
