What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
