so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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