I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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