Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
